Carrot Coconut Protein Cookies with Lemon Glaze

Holy crap am I a dirty, sweaty, filthy, sticky, greasy excuse for a human right now.  I spent 6 hours in a tractor with no A/C today and my brain was barely functioning when I fell out of there this afternoon.  Totally saw the Grim Reaper along the way.  That better be fixed by tomorrow or this might be the last post I ever type out.

Got home, opened some windows, made the daughters some pizzas on tortillas in the oven and I ate an entire cucumber while I fed them.  Then downed a litre of water.  Then ate one of my Farmers Market cupcakes from last night.  Then decided I needed some protein.

I’ve been wanting to try this cookie recipe over at Andréa’s Protein Cakery for the last little while but haven’t had the time so I decided to give them a go tonight.  I started looking it over and realised I didn’t have all the ingredients, plus I had a lemon not an orange, so I had to make a few modifications and came up with a version of my own.


Once again (just like the Chocolate Cake and Chocolate Haystack Cookie recipes) these cookies are Dairy-, Gluten-, Egg-, and Sugar-free.  Each cookie has only 3g of carbs, 3g of fat and boasts a whopping 12g of protein – super snack to keep with you during the day plus they taste wicked which is a healthy bonus.

For the glaze, mix together all three ingredients, set aside and start on the cookies.  Yep, seriously.  That’s all.

Cook the carrots and puree them until they have the consistency of baby food.  For those of you childless people, the consistency of baby food is otherwise known as mush.  Mix in the protein powder, coconut oil, coconut flour and shredded coconut.  The batter is going to be very wet but don’t get discouraged, it’ll firm up in the oven.  Drop by spoonfuls onto parchment paper and bake in a 350F oven for 8-10 minutes.  Remove from the oven and place a small spoonful of the glaze over each cookie.

Carrot Coconut Protein Cookies
Yield: 15 cookies

1& 1/2 cups cooked, pureed carrot
2/3 cup vanilla whey protein powder
1/4 cup coconut oil
1/8 cup coconut flour
3 tbsp unsweetened coconut, shredded or flakes

Lemon Glaze

1/2 cup vanilla whey protein powder
3 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 tsp lemon zest

Definitely give these a try if you’re wanting to test out something new and different.  And if you like what you see here, why the hell aren’t you following me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and getting my emails?!  Put your email address in —-> right over there, it’s very simple.

Hop to it and like the shit out of me all over the place.  Much appreciated.  Kim.


Sugar-, Gluten-, Dairy- and Egg-Free Protein Haystack Cookies

Before I get into the recipe I just want to share an update to my Hardcore Hottie Finalist post, I finished in second place and although it was a close race, I was edged out in votes by a bit.  I really want to thank everyone that voted for me and supported my journey, I am super stoked to have finished so close to first place and congratulate everyone that participated – we’re all winners regardless of placing.

Back to baking.  Oh-Em-Gee I just made the mother of all protein recipes.  For reals.  I’ve always called these cookies haystacks but I guess there’s lots of different names for them.  They’re balls of oatmeal and coconut that are covered in a chocolate goo and then they harden up…sorta…so I made a protein packed version that also happens to be FREE OF SUGAR, GLUTEN, EGGS AND DAIRY, huzzah!


They’ve never really been my favourite cookies (actually I’ve never made them once so they’re completely off my radar) but this morning I set out to make a protein granola bar, ended up screwing it up and these were the result.  Not bad if I do say so myself. It’s like when Leonardo da Vinci set out to paint a picture of a horse and ended up with the Mona Lisa.  Joke.  I’m joking.

Start out by mixing together all your ingredients EXCEPT THE COCOA in a bowl.  It makes it easier if they’re in order also.  You can use a spoon, hand-mixer or Kitchen-Aid, pick your poison.  Obviously the power options are easier on the arms but who doesn’t like a good arm workout, am I right?

Mix everything together thoroughly and then sprinkle the cocoa over last and continue to mix.

Normally, you would ball up traditional haystacks and lay them on waxed paper to somewhat solidify but because these are a lot stickier than traditional haystacks, I balled these up and lay them in rows in a greased 13×9 baking dish (you could also do it on parchment paper lined baking sheets) and baked them at 350F for 8-10 minutes and they came out PERFECT.  Seriously, perfection.

Protein Haystacks (free from sugar, gluten, dairy and eggs)
Makes 32 cookies

2 & 1/2 cups steel cut oats
1 & 1/2 cups unsweetened coconut, flakes or shredded
1 cup chocolate whey protein powder
6 tablespoons all-natural nut butter, softened (the kind that has ONLY nuts as an ingredient)
1 cup coconut or almond milk (I used coconut)
1/4 cup cocoa powder


I’ve been in the tractor A LOT lately and these along with the Chocolate Protein Muffins have been staples for me this past week.  Prepping and planning ahead helps you make great food choices!  Happy summer, Kim.

Chocolate Protein Cake: Grain-, Gluten-, Dairy-, Egg-, Sugar- and Nut-FREE!

BOOM!  That’s a mouthful for a title, hey?!  Legit though, this cake is grain-, gluten-, dairy-, egg-, sugar- and nut-free!  And it doesn’t taste like absolute shit either however, be forewarned, protein-rich baked goods don’t taste like regular baked goods either.  They’re a taste you’ll have to get used to.


Andréa over at Andréa’s Protein Cakery came up with this recipe and I’m just another one of her loyal followers that wanted to try something new.   I am a lover of all baked goods like cakes, pies, cupcakes, donuts, cookies – ALL THE TREATS.  “Tarted up little whores”, haha this cartoon makes me laugh too.

cupcake funny

Seriously, they get me every time.  I love having muffins and cupcakes in the house because they’re a fast go-to on the days I’m on the move.  Only problem with that is I have to count them towards my carb macros (obvs) and that usually means I’m short on proteins but with this recipe, my protein macros go up instead.  Huzzah!

This is in fact a cake recipe that has a delicious looking version of Andréa’s Cashew Whipped Cream on top but I don’t have any cashews in the house right now so I won’t attempt making it this time BUT it’s for sure on my to-do list because it looks and sounds so good.  I’ll prob just end up spreading on (or eat with a spoon) this Dark Chocolate Almond Butter which is just like icing in a jar anyway.  Costco is my best friend, really, they carry amazing icing-in-a-jar products plus they always support my decisions and they make me lunch for under $3.  Win-win.  Me and Costco are tight.


So anyways, this cake is five ingredients total.  That’s all.  Yep, not lying to you.  And they’re not crazy obscure ingredients either like psyllium husks or xantham gum.  Who stocks that shit anyway?!  Andréa has a cool looking recipe for basic bread posted also but it calls for psyllium husks and unflavoured whey so I need to go forth and search for those before I can make it.  Surprisingly, unflavoured whey is super hard to come across in my parts and I don’t even know where I’ll find psyllium husks…thankfully, there’s the internet.

Dump all five ingredients into a bowl and mix them up.  Then the real recipe says to pour the batter into two 9″ pans lined with parchment paper but I decided to make them into muffins instead.  They’re more user-friendly for me that way and I wasn’t topping them with the cream this time anyhow.

photo 1

I scooped all my batter into muffin tins lined with silicone baking cups (got them at the M&M store in Las Vegas, best purchase ever) and baked in a 325F oven for 15 minutes.  I actually had to bake mine longer because there’s something wrong with my oven and whenever a recipe says 15 minutes to bake, it actually takes my oven closer to 25 or 30 minutes to complete.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Don’t overcook them.  I’ve overcooked protein baking before and it has the potential to crush bones or break glass.

SO here’s the nitty gritty.  There nutrient information per muffin is posted below and it’s not incorrect.  34.7g of protein PER MUFFIN with only 8g of carbs and 3g of fat.  BOOYAH macros, take that!  You’ll have to alter it if you add a schmear of the chocolate almond butter but that’s no biggie.  The info is on the side of the jar.


Chocolate Protein Cake (Muffins)
Yield: 12 Muffins or 2-9″ cakes

2 cups chocolate whey protein powder
1/2 cup cocoa
1-1/2 cups applesauce
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

Happy baking!  Enjoy, Kim.